In case you are unaware of the importance of this: every fall, my high school music department launches a fundraiser in which all the band and choral kids sell really good slash really overpriced cheesecakes like mad.
|The fundraiser also includes pizza and cookie dough and miscellaneous items, like candles and... tupperware? The red velvet cupcakes are great but you only get six, so blah.|
I know this might not sound like a big deal, but it's a big deal.
See, fundraisers are typically pretty low-key. Some kid asks you to buy something and you either agree or say you're broke, and that's that.
A typical cheesecake fundraiser would be the same way: one really enthusiastic kid with a catalog amongst tons of willing (but actually, unwilling) buyers.
The thing is, our cheesecake fundraiser isn't just a couple of Girl Scouts. It's the entire music department. So things tend to get a little overwhelming.
People advertise for cheesecakes left and right. Entire Facebook newsfeeds are swallowed by shameless cheesecake soliciting. Friends and enemies and teachers alike wearily agree (after days upon days upon weeks) to dish out a couple of bills just to get people to Stop. Bugging. Them. About. Cheesecakes.
And for the people selling the cheesecakes, selling can be kind of tough. Really tough.
But never fear, my dear high school musician friends! I have decided to share some of my favorite (if not 100% effective) cheesecake-selling strategies.
First of all, you need to be proactive. I get that fundraising can be awkward, but if you want to sell those cheesecakes, you need to be out there waving your catalog with all the other flutes and trumpets and sopranos.
Also, the fact that all choral/band kids are selling cheesecakes means there is a large portion of the school who won't buy your cheesecakes. You have to scout out the unsuspecting non-music kids before the rest of your music friends do.
As for the actual selling of the cheesecakes, you need to be concise. When you're walking down the hallway, there's no time for a "Good afternoon, my name is Russell and I am a wilderness explorer in Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12, etc, etc." No, you have to seize the day and shout "BUY A CHEESECAKE!" before you lose your customers in the traffic flow.
And another thing: I normally don't support bullying, but it is a truth universally acknowledged that a timid "Would you like to buy a cheesecake?" is never as effective as a menacing
Lastly, be creative and think of your own ways to sell cheesecakes! My personal favorite is the donation method, in which you create a win-win situation by asking for money...
...and later surprising the target with a tasty treat.
So there you have it: a comprehensive guide (okay, not really, but I tried) on how to beat out all the other cheesecake-selling kids. To my brother and all my other high school friends who currently possess a catalog and a money envelope, welcome to yet another year of the Cheesecake Games. May the odds be ever in your favor.